Most husbands and wives of cheating spouses overlook the underlying reason that drove their spouse to cheat in the first place.
Many “infidelity experts” on the internet these days are offering solutions on how to find PROOF that will expose your spouse or catch them “in the act”. But instead of putting 100% of your effort in finding solid proof, your energy would be better spent understanding what went wrong in your marriage.
One thing you need to understand is that it’s common for cheating spouses to give up on a relationship the moment things start to become a little difficult.
Rather than admitting and accepting that there’s a problem in their marriage, they look for someone else to fulfill that need. These “needs” could be anything from a physical connection to strictly intellectual relations that lead to an emotional affair.
Affairs take place because one spouse’s needs are no longer being met by their partner. Cheating spouses are then drawn to someone else who WILL (temporarily) meet those needs.
Some men find themselves faced with a cheating wife because their marriage was lacking the emotional connection that women need.
What’s even more dangerous is when women idealize love and spend their whole lives going in and out of marriages in search of their “perfect soul mate”.
Like it or not, marriage IS WORK…but it doesn’t have to be “hard” work.
If you want win your spouse over after an affair, you need to know how to meet his/her needs. You can start by understanding what a man and a woman’s emotional needs really are.
If you were to ask your spouse what the other man/woman had that you don’t….you’d get a vague answer without finding the real truth.
To find the REAL reason why cheating spouses wreak havoc on their marriages, start with the reason why they left in the first place - unmet Ultimate Expectations.
Every couple goes into a marriage with expectations of each other that are NEVER CLEARLY DISCUSSED simply because they don’t REALLY understand, nor can they clearly explain, what their own expectations are - let alone their spouses!
Cheating spouses cheat because they are in search of unmet, yet unspoken deep emotional needs.
After years of helping struggling couples with their marriages, I’ve identified a path that ALL couples travel when they’re headed for a divorce. And the first tell tale sign to watch out for is unmet Ultimate Expectations.
If you read the FREE special report The Secret Path to Divorce, you’ll learn why affairs are just another predictable step on the Secret Path to Divorce.
It’s as simple as this...
This fact is also one of the reasons why most affairs don’t last.
Let me explain.
When your spouse met this other man/woman, they THOUGHT that this other person was meeting their needs, but what was really happening is they were blinded by the Romance stage of a relationship.
You and your spouse went through this stage also. If you think back to the beginning of your relationship, you may not have noticed at the time, but the two of you were on your BEST behavior.
Looking back, it might even seem like your spouse was a different person back then.
The reason? There is actually a chemical released in your brain that makes you feel “infatuated” with this other person.
It would even be safe to say that cheating spouses can’t think straight when they’re caught up in this “biological phenomenon”. This is also why some couples make irrational decisions early in their relationship, like going off to Las Vegas and getting married on a whim.
Down the road, after the Romance stage of their relationship is over, many of these couples eventually get divorced.
So if you’re worried that your cheating spouse is “in love” with this other person, the chances are, it is VERY short lived...which means you STILL have a chance to win over your spouse!
The first step starts with understanding the different Ultimate Expectations of men and women. You owe it to yourself and your children to give your marriage a second chance.
When you meet your spouse’s expectations, you’ll find your marriage to be a WHOLE LOT EASIER…not to mention MUCH LESS STRESSFUL!
In fact, I’ve recently found a statistic that might give you some inspiration.
A study from the Institute for American Values found that:
If you take the first step in improving your marriage and you start meeting your spouses’ needs, I promise you, your marriage will be much stronger and more fulfilling than it was before the affair took place.
If you need a step-by-step path that will show you everything you need to know to win your spouse's heart back, you might want to consider the Environment Changer program.
The insights in this program are based on what you do "inside", NOT what you do outside.
You will learn how to change "the environment" inside you and finally begin to feel calm, secure, safe, important and valuable, possibly for the first time in your life.
You'll do this by discovering how to ELIMINATE your negative feelings in 60 seconds with a tool kit I call the EC-7.
The EC-7 makes it possible for you to stop living like a pin ball, and instead, live like the pin ball machine. Pin balls are easily bounced in any direction and cannot control where they are or what influences them.
The pin ball machine on the other hand, is solid, stands on four legs and influences where the pin ball is going.
Do you want to live like the pin ball, or the pin ball machine?
Becoming an Environment Changer will show you how to become the solid and stead pin ball machine so you can start doing positive things for your marriage instead of dwelling on "what if" questions, fear and doubt.